How to Prepare for a Flight Like a Pro

4-minute read

If you read no further, do this: look at every individual thing that you might’ve already packed, do some soul searching, and decide whether you really need to bring it.

If you’re still here, guiding thought #2 is as follows: every item that you bring is packed and unpacked at least two times. Knowing this, every additional item has a quadrupled time, fatigue, and sanity cost. (the sanity cost comes in the form of “I feel like I forgot to pack something” in both directions)

More specifically, here are items that you should never bring when flying:

  • Anything more pointy or more flammable than a (non-shiv) toothbrush
  • Large quantities of liquid (more than 3oz)
  • Water or beverages of any kind (airport restaurants want to maintain their captive audience)
  • Samsung Galaxy Note 7 (seriously: it is illegal to take one on a plane)

Items you should avoid bringing when flying:

  • Food (captive audience…)
  • More than 3 liquids (technically, though they aren’t likely to count)
  • More than exactly the clothing that you will wear during your trip (I suggest planning to re-wear or wash some things)
  • Things that are easily/cheaply acquired at your destination (hotels almost always provide free soap and shampoo, and sell travel toothpaste)

Things that you should bring:

  • Identification (more than one if possible)
  • Medications in their bottles (so that they are easily identified)
  • Prescription medications in their bottles (the label on it is your license to carry the controlled substance)
  • Headphones (active noise canceling if available)
  • Earplugs (not headphones)
  • Eye mask or something that can act as one (beanie or even a t-shirt can be fine)
  • Good walking shoes and socks
  • Long sleeve shirt or warmer (planes and airports are usually kept cold)

On packing:

  • Each ticketed passenger is allotted one bag and one personal item
  • You are allowed and encouraged to “consolidate” bags/items inside of other bags
  • You can put one bag/item under the seat in front of you (a medium-to-large backpack will usually fit)
  • You can put one bag/item in the overhead bins
  • You might have to shiv someone to use the overhead bins (it’s usually fine, but don’t think that you are entitled to the bin and there isn’t enough room for all passengers’ stuff)
  • Access to the bins is first-come, first-serve, so your boarding group matters significantly
  • Therefore, the social hierarchy / caste system is entirely based on boarding group: group #1 (first class) walk as gods amongst men
  • If you can limit yourself to just a backpack under the seat in front of you, life becomes far simpler and you no longer care about boarding group
  • If you manage to escape the boarding group shackles, you can stare into the faces of gods and laugh

On TSA:

  • They don’t want to be there
  • They don’t want you to be there
  • They are tired
  • They are underpaid
  • Make their life easy and they’ll make yours easy

On going through security:

  • Don’t avoid eye contact or act shady (goofy and awkward is fine, but don’t expect smiles)
  • Unless you have pre-check, you will have to take your shoes off (so favor shoes that are easy to remove)
  • You will have to remove any extra layers of clothing or any large pieces of metal
  • “Laptops and other large electronic devices must be placed in a bin by themselves and placed on the belt [to go through the scanner]”
  • Same with phones, but they can have other things in the bin with them (e.g. wallet, keys, watch, belt, shoes)
  • You will go through a body scanner (if you have pre-check, then it’s a metal detector)
  • You might get a pat down (nothing egregious – again, they don’t want to be there either)
  • If a K9 unit sniffs your bag a lot, you’re just interesting (if it had drugs, he’d rip the bag to pieces)
  • It’s all security theater that’s still taken seriously, but not consistently

On sanitation:

  • Carry hand sanitizer
  • If you are likely to touch it, know that a thousand other people have touched it before you (e.g. door handles, seatbelts, tray tables, anything with a name, really)
  • Some of those things get sanitized, but usually not
  • Try not to touch things unless absolutely necessary
  • Try not to think about it